Risk Management Gifts

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

Customer Satisfaction.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.

'We're looking for someone who's comfortable taking risks.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'We advise all of our clients not to hire the most brilliant managers. Risk varies inversely with knowledge, otherwise there would be many more wealthy university professors.'

Life is about MANAGING risk, not not taking any.

'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

"And now let's practice risk management!"

'Have I got this poster straight?'

'The risk management consultant submitted his report. Basically, he suggests that we adopt a policy of risk aversion.'

'On the contrary, I think this is the BEST time to talk about life insurance.'

"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."

"Please welcome the newest member of our risk management team . . ."

'I'm afraid you're not working out as our risk manager.'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Uh oh! Are you sure it's wise?"

'As Boss of this gang I'm in charge of Strategy; Fingers you head up Acquisitions; Tiny: Security; and Speedy: Transport. Leaving our intern Hugo, as Health & Safety Officer, to do the Risk Assessment.'

Acme Financial Management - Risking other people's money since 1927.

Risk management

Always have an Exit Strategy.

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

"Maybe next time you could think about reporting the risk before the accident!"

"And would you put the heading.... 'PLEASE DON'T DO THIS...NEVER DO THIS' in capitals."

'Maybe next time you'll think twice before you leave your portfolio exposed to obvious interest rate risk!'

'I tried it at home...'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

The Best Laid Plans

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