Risk Manager Gifts

Risk Perception/Risk Assessment/Risk Management.

'Everything on black is not a risk management strategy, Hoskins.'

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

Customer Satisfaction.

'Rock, you I can cover. Scissors, you're too big a risk.'

Boss at board meeting looks at colleague wearing helmet, headphones and strapped-on pillows, saying: 'I think, perhaps, we need to come up with a new approach to risk management.'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Disaster Waiting to Happen Room.

'How can it be insider trading if a little bird told me?'

"Suspenders and a belt? You must be the guy from risk management."

'It's simple. First we look at the upside. Then we look at the downside. Then we look at the upside-down side.'

I only asked you to make a cup of tea, that doesn't need a risk assessment first...

"Yeah, Eddie, but think about it this way - We don't have to comply with ANYTHING!"

Life is about MANAGING risk, not not taking any.

'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

"And now let's practice risk management!"

'On the contrary, I think this is the BEST time to talk about life insurance.'

Well, I think that Bob's Disaster Recovery Plan seems to cover everything.

'My particular skill set is mismanaging risk. There seems to be a plethora of people with that skill set.'

'I'm afraid you're not working out as our risk manager.'

"Please welcome the newest member of our risk management team . . ."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I decided to take a calculated risk but Hayward did the calculations."

Remember when I wanted to talk risk management, but all you wanted to talk was video games.

Risk Management Hut.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Risk management

Safety Guide.

Risk assesment

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'