Risk Averse Rebel T-Shirts

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

Punk Reindeer

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

The Mainstream

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

Chippunks

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"And what if we don’t feel like being herded?"

Auld Gang Sign

The Establishment: Independent Thought

Intermediate Slouching.

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"I don't know...to me it seems like a cry for help."

'Why do you want an earring? You can't even see it!'