Riot Control Officer T-Shirts

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

No jay walking.

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Madoff and devil.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Yoga Sequence to Avoid