Riot Control Officer T-Shirts

"It's a completely ethical water canon: it uses soft water only."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Madoff and devil.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'