Ring Shopping T-Shirts

"Don't be alarmed, sir. Just a precaution we always take."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Teenagers!'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Toadstools

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Cut Price

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Bad for you but to die for