Ring Shopping T-Shirts

"Don't be alarmed, sir. Just a precaution we always take."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Toadstools

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Cut Price

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Bad for you but to die for

'She's so put together!'