Riff Master T-Shirts

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Musician plugged into amp.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Steve Morse

'Your Dad phoned earlier and told me that this is how he wanted it fixed.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

ZZZZZZZ Top

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

Eric Clapton.

New music conference

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Solitaire card shark.

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

Tony Iommi

The Specimen Hunter

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

My Musical Influences

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

Fetching, rolling over, playing dead, sitting up

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

Man fishing out of another man's fishing box.

Pirate

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.