Rich Ponderer T-Shirts

'That's right, a person with 9 million is no happier than one with 8 million.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Shakespeare was bisexual

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

"How long has he been missing?"

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Robot Attack in Bath

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

Evolution of God. . .

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Biden Workload

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'How rich is too rich?'

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'