Rhythm Critic T-Shirts

'Face it, man! Your nephew has no sense of rhythm!'

Marimba

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

No Elgar!

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Chano Pozo,

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Music producers.

The Drummer

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

The Little Drummer Boy.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

A dancing man wearing a red-striped top

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

Philip Larkin

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

A singer being criticised

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"