Rhetorical Enthusiast Gifts

Steel Futures

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The Dorrie Decimal System

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'He likes to power nap.'

reincarnated worm...

The height of fashion in 1796

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Don Quixote