Rhetoric Analyzer T-Shirts

NBS NEWS DIVISION, 'You've written a nice editorial on Sarah Palin here, but change 'said' to 'spewed,' and 'speech' to 'vitriol.''

The Politician's Tongue.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

The Truth

'Actually, I think my use of hyperbole is not only iconoclastic, it is potentially revolutionary.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

"Smart stuff, Chip, but wise up and dumb it down."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

Professor Dubreuil is blow away by the dynamic vitality of Dean Richmond's rhetoric.

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Language of politics.

Violent Rhetoric

Vote For Me: The winning over of voters.

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

Lawyers - A peroration a la Demosthenes

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"That's it?! Boy exploits tree, tree suffers? Shel Silverstein was nuts!"

"I can't see it lasting!"

"My religion is about love and tolerance! Got that, you stupid son of a bitch!?!

Inside the Candidates

"My platform can be summarized in a single word: Leadership!"

"Socrates, you have an answer for everything, you can convince anyone of anything, and you know everything. You ought to become a lawyer."

'Not guilty, Your Honor, by reason of watching of watching too much political opponent-bashing.'

"If elected, I'll institute an AMAZING CRASH PROGRAM that in JUST 24 HOURS will trim ugly fat and waste from government and literally turn it into SUPER SERVICES for you the AMERICAN PEOPLE by utilizing a NATURAL MECHANISM so powerful that when unleashed

"He doesn't lie. . . just repositions the truth."

"So apart from stop being 'lying hypocritical uncaring bastards who'd promise anything to get back in power'...is there anything else we might do to secure your vote?"

'Well, having a general opinion that fits every topic keeps him from wasting words...'

"I can't believe the things I've heard coming out of his mouth since he started listening to Eminem."

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'