Revolutionary War Re-enactor Gifts

Minutemen in training.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Knight school.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

England.

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

Medieval Page Boy