Revolution Reenactors T-Shirts

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

Mischevious wife with husband in uniform

"God, I hate theme dinners."

Medieval Page Boy