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Ever the southern gentleman, General Armistead pauses during battle to inquire if anyone has lost a hat.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Piracy on a boating lake

Warrior Woman

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

Gaah! You sank my longship!

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

The Use of Cavalry

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Knight school.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

England.