Review Rascals Gifts

"You do realize this may affect my review of you on Yelp?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

"Hey feet off the table"

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

Rat Hands.

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

Devil

Throwing snails into next door's garden

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"