Retro Reckoners Gifts

"How many loo rolls did you capture at the Battle of Aldi grandad?"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Tourist

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

1998: A Look Back

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

Telephone Box

You read the instruction manual for a video game for your book report?

'Can I carry your computer disks to school?'

"You know what they say: if you can remember the Sixties then talk about them endlessly on BBC Four documentaries."

"I see by your copy of 'Newsweek' that Lyndon Johnson has decided not to run for reelection."

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

"You in there! This is the Microsoft Police. Throw out your books and come out with your hands up."

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

'You want me to be more like I was when we were first married? OK, I'll put away the remote and change it manually.'

Louis Daguerre takes a selfie

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

"If only these kids had grown up with the same role models we had, then maybe they wouldn't look so damn ridiculous!"

"Negative, Captain. Conditions here extremely hostile to rockabilly."

A teenager imagines how the world looked prior to the invention of the internet

"What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"How do I load this book into my computer?"

"Secure in their ignorance, medieval peasants were impervious to education, fearful of progress and lived on potatoes and cabbage. Thankfully, it's very different today. Now they've got burgers and fries."

Library - 'Books, Flo - when did we stop doing them?'

"When I was your age, I had to walk two blocks to the video rental store."

'Oh, I don't have an appointment to see the doctor. I'm doing a report on magazine trends in the 1970's.'