Retro Joke Lover T-Shirts

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

W.C. Fields

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

"My, it feels good to sit down."

Trump to Build Wall

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"Your chicken in red wine, sir."

This problem began in the 1950's...

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"Cap'n crunches"

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

The Moe Howard Installation

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"When was this license issued?"