Retro Email Enthusiast Gifts

'What am I doing? I'm printing out all your emails so I can tear them up, that's what I'm doing!'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Spam in Hell.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Santa called but you were out!

"Mail's here."

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Early on-line shopping

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"I know we said we'd get you a laptop,but this will have to do until business improves."