Retro Eatery Explorer Mugs

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

Diner.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

Tourist

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'I like a table next to the action.'

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

"Don't order the calamari."

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

I'll pretend I know anything about our wines, if you'll nod and pretend you have a clue about what I'm talking about.

'...and, after the chef's surprise, we have the cashier's surprise.'

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

'Technology hates me.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"