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Ice Skaters

'Better stick close to the cave today — the big ones are biting.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

'My eyesight's not what it used to be.'

"Now do you believe me?"

"Where's Waldo and his little-know cousin what's Wanda."

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

How We Know You're Getting Old

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"

Cabman, unhappy with his fare, accuses a lady's husband of not being a gentleman

"What a pity! Mr Grogan took it on the lam not more than five minutes ago."

"I can't pay for this so I'll wash the dishes."

'Did that thing just abduct your dollar.'

"Cowabunga! Guess whose arthritis just kicked in? Advanced age, mutant ninja turtles"

"I'm a hunter." "I'm a gatherer."

'What do you mean you can't slam dunk?'

Fat footman has been told he will be dismissed if he doeas not lose weight

Mr. Punch cycling

"That said, however, let's go see if she's got any roommates."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. VIII

'I can never remember which is a stalagmite and which is a stalactite.'

Hello Mr. Babcock, this is 1983 calling.

'Helen, for the last time. Where are my eggs?'

An alcoholic returning to his old ways