Retirement Planner Humorist Pillows

Bear Market

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

A signaller directing pallbearers

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

I see they're going for the traditional festivities.

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'I'm practicing carrying you over the threshold for our honeymoon night.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

Boy giving mistletoe to friend

'Daddy! For the last time, this is my wedding, not a 'spin-off'!'

"If you're so good, why are you still working?"

Old fly...retirement home.

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'Marriage licenses are $10. and up. Do remember that you get what you pay for.'

'His idea of planning for the future is buying two cases of beer.'

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

'-and the ceremony,your place or mine?'