Retirement Jokes Fan Mugs

"There goes Wagstatte's retirement present"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"Show-off!"

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

Old Pope's Home

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

Old fly...retirement home.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

"Leaving parties aren’t as much fun since they put up the retirement age!"

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

"Sorry 008, nothing for you again..."

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'O.K...O.K...I won't mention retirement again!'

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

"I've given up the ghost"

Oap recruitment.

"Since he retired I like to keep in handy around the house."

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'