Retiree In Training T-Shirts

"Oh no! It's another lecture on his pension contributions!"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Happy Retirement

"Death coach..."

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

Best Scapegoat

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Senior PGA Moment.

'Relax - we're retired, we don't have any teeth.'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'