Retail Warriors Pillows

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

"Thank you for shoplifting with us."

"Returns"

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

'I think Gramma's a saint for taking you school shopping.'

Closed at 1, Open at 2, but to you...1:45.

"Any chance of some credit?"

'I'm not sure what to do with you. You had a customer complaint this morning, then, a few minutes ago, you got a customer compliment...I guess they balance each other out.'

Man equipped for a shopping expedition

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"My opinion, right or wrong."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Changing Room Decisions

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Pirates at the mall.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Brick and Mortar

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Sold It All.

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

Super express lane for working mothers only!

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

Super Homeworld

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'