Retail Therapy Seeker Gifts

Service with a smile.

"Why do I need to pay sales tax when it wasn't on sale?"

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

When salespeople attack.

Thong World.

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"We're out of your shoe size but we do have your shoe box size."

"It's in the original clamshell packaging...I couldn't open it in the first place!"

"Well yes, technically this IS a big-box store, but we don't actually sell any big boxes."

". . . and another thing, I want to complain that you're a mannequin!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Cut Price

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'She's so put together!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"