Retail Therapy Seeker Gifts

Service with a smile.

"Why do I need to pay sales tax when it wasn't on sale?"

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

When salespeople attack.

Thong World.

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"We're out of your shoe size but we do have your shoe box size."

"It's in the original clamshell packaging...I couldn't open it in the first place!"

"Well yes, technically this IS a big-box store, but we don't actually sell any big boxes."

". . . and another thing, I want to complain that you're a mannequin!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Cut Price

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'She's so put together!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"