Retail Therapy Critic T-Shirts

"And how may we irritate you today?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'She's so put together!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I shop, therefore I am."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'