Retail Therapists T-Shirts

"Forget about the Wizard, guys...these stores have everything!"

'We've now got a joint blank account.'

"I've accessed the credit card again."

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

"Look! These cute mammogrammed bags are on sale!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Cut Price

'She's so put together!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Do you do much walking?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'