Retail Satirists Pillows

'Finally a mega-store with an honest name.'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

Pirates at the mall.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Cold caller.

'The stuff legends are made of'

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

That was 16 items.

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

The 29p Shop