Retail Romantics T-Shirts

STRIP Hambone: Just for show

'It's you.'

'In order to maintain good customer service, make sure you let someone know if you are going to the restroom.'

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Last Chance for Everything.

Self-Checkout.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

Brick and Mortar

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

'No thanks, just looking.'

Renaissace Music Lovers

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'Each company is making it hard to choose between merger offers.'

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

Giant sale - 'Sorry Luv - that's the last one.'

"Listen, Baldo, I know what you're thinking...but as part of the management team, I can say with all confidence that your job is safe."

Shopaholic

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

SAGE (unknown model)

'Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a new pair of shoes.'