Retail Romance T-Shirts

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Last Chance for Everything.

Self-Checkout.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Brick and Mortar

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'No thanks, just looking.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

Shopaholic

SAGE (unknown model)

Giant sale - 'Sorry Luv - that's the last one.'

'Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a new pair of shoes.'

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

The Sales Assistants Ruined Chance to Dazzle.

"The flowers, the perfume, the poetry, the promises. Man, I love shopping"