Resume Warriors Pillows

"I see you have a master's degree and have served 73 unpaid internships. Do you think you're ready for a salaried job?'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

National Living Wage from April 1st.

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'A word in my office Jones.'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

'The secret of getting a good job that fits you perfectly is letting yourself in on what that really is!'

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

'I want to discuss my salary!'