Resume Reactor Pillows

"They told me it would be and excellent resumé. What else does it say?"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rage.

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

Office Park

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

1998: A Look Back

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

It seems there is a difference between a "hypothesis" and a "guesstimate."

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

"Well, Mr. Hicks, your resume looks quite impressive and of course, the fact that you can sniff out truffles is a plus!"

'I don't know anything about anything, but I'm great at looking stuff up!'

'I can take out some of the padding if I appear overqualified.'

'The following program was made possible by remixing a bunch of OTHER programs....'

The Joy of Recession

'I'm happy to report that the position has been narrowed down to you and 958 other people.'

'Sure I submitted somebody else's resum? - I'm the victim of a stolen identity.'

Despite the fame and fortune, Shania never forgot her roots.

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

"Welcome, Bob. You just heard the latest development in our top story. I'd like to get your knee-jerk reaction to it."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

Overqualified for some jobs - underqualified for others.

'Oh, I don't have an appointment to see the doctor. I'm doing a report on magazine trends in the 1970's.'

"Some people think that social workers aren't competitive..."

Oops, I spilled coffee on my resume. Uh-oh, that's a stain on your record!

You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Yeah. You loved it, but then once you saw that "Birds of a Feather" episode, you hated it. Yeah. But now I love it again, because of season 2 episode 18: "To Bind the Wounds." Particularly the scene starting at 36 minutes and 11 seconds, and the rest of the way through. By the end of it, I was sobbing like a baby. I don't think there's anything worse than a grown man sobbing at his iPhone. You can see me sob at the 43:28 mark in my reac