Resume Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"While your resume is quite impressive, we don't currently have any plundering needs."

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Resume Dumpers

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'... No, you're not on the short list. You're not even on the long list.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

The Joy of Recession

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

'I received matching offers.'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'