Restless Dreamers Pillows

Insomniacs Support Group - "Ron, how am I suppose to help you if you keep falling asleep?"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Art of Surviving

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'Just think...summer's coming, and everyday will be like Saturday morning!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Wide-awake.

Moonbillies.

"At least my putting has improved."

"It's 2 A.M. Do you know where your p***s is?"

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

Castaway on island with just one tree has hammock washed up on shore.

'All the stress of the job went away once I stopped giving a damn.'

'Sweet!' Boy sees a bin marked imaginary friends.

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

"Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?"

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"Don't forget you have to pay alimony."

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

"I'd like to announce my candidacy for President of the United States."

"I've counted 53 in this flock! What about you Bob? Bob?"

My running routine, my sleep routine, my self-care routine and my food prep routine.

'It just turned tomorrow.'

"I haven't the heart to tell him there's no such place as Shangri-La."

Morning Genie

My inomnia wouldn't be so bad if I didn't lie awake worrying about it.

"It's too late to worry anymore tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow."

Penny for your thoughts.

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, you can see the doctor about your insomnia now.'