Restaurant Rendezvous Lover T-Shirts

Don't mind him, I'm incredibly famous and he is my fan

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'So what have you been up to?'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Linguini for two?"

Three Pigs.

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"What do you recommend today?"

Repletion.

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

" and my husband will have..."

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"You'd clean and set tables and make sure that each table hs a salt lick and pepper."

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

"I'll have the cheesecake, hold the cake."

How To Turn A Closed-Down Nuclear Reactor Into A Theme Restaurant: A Master Plan.

'The lady said you will pay.'