Restaurant Relationship Coach T-Shirts

'The couple at table 4 said everything was okay, but I know they were lying. It was not okay!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

The best financial decision I ever made.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"It's not you-it's me."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

Separations.

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"Arouse Me!"

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'Can I get a box for this?'