Restaurant Fanatic T-Shirts

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

"I see. . . and can you recommend anything other than the brains?"

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Fast food. Even faster food

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

'Needs salt!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Important Food Groups

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Kitchen Kapers

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Benihana style of cooking.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"