Restaurant Business Pillows

"That's the food biz. Celebrity chef one day, graveyard shift hash jockey the next."

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Two weeks ago

"You've got to admit their outright elimination of the hamburger was a stroke of sheer financial genius!"

'It's the same special as yesterday...'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).