Resolution Renegotiator Pillows

"I did give up drink for my New Year's resolution but I reckon it doesn't count as I was drunk when I made it."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Changing Minds

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

Unison plans strikes

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'