Rescue Operation Admirer Pillows

"We rescued an ape."

'Sounds like illegal immigrants.'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Champagne

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

The one that got away

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

"Uh Ooh... Another tsunami hits the Ross Ice shelf!

'Gravity...Go figure!'

Artifishial Intelligence

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"It makes me want to pee."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Proposal

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

'I love us when we're tan.'

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

The Lemmings of Montauk

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."