Republican Party Gifts

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Maga Republicans

Tide-l Wave.

Carly Fiorina

'You haven't had enough yet.'

'Watching the GOP race is even starting to curl Sarah Palin's hair.'

Donald Trump

"You may now place the ring on the bride..."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Beers

Shaken not stirred

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Whale Piñata.

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

'A candle for it? Not blummin' likely - I'm a republican!'

Join me in a Caiprinha!

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

Join me in a beer?