Reptile Buff Prints

'He's supposed to be the world's oldest turtle!'

TSA Noah

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Get on with it!

Early accounting scandals.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Protoplasm

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

Horseshoes...Samson-style

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

Moses as a mobster.

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Hysterically laughing monster.

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"Siblings? yes, I'm one of seven."

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

Arresting Adam and Eve