Report Navigator Pillows

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Computer Expert

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"I am not asking for directions."

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"You've got computer-breath."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Network Extending from Buttonhole

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Newspaper suicide.

Titanic: How's my steering.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."