Report Card Resistor Pillows

'It's too bad they don't give a grade for courage. You'd get an 'A' for bringing this thing home.'

Hate Platforms

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

'He wants a system with lots of memory,but without a mouse.'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

Rudloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Goes Down in History.

"Damn change and newfangled ideas...if mindless back breaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for ME!"

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'I dread Labor Day. That's the holiday before school starts.'

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'Those are the rules, Mr. Payne. You can be a conscientious objector to war, but not to taxes!'

"Marketing with social media is a fad. I know what I'm talking about, baby."

"They taxed my tax refund."

The trouble with the speed of light is it gets here too early in the morning.

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.