Rent Ponderers T-Shirts

Dilemma - 'They've been gone for ages and it looks like they're not coming back. The first thing I have to figure out is how to pay the rent.'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

"I gave on the E train."

"I want my job back."

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"I gave you the wheel and this is what you did with it?"

'I do wish you wouldn't use those Polish printers.'

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

No Junk Mail

"This is not the sort of America I envisioned, Tom-an America in which the middle class has to use public transportation."

"It used to be called pensions."

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.

A.I. Newreader Malfunctions. . . or does it?

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

Within your budget central London MIGHT be a problem. What about central Ulan Bator?"

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

"If you're worried about your retirement account, Ms. Mulvany, just read the crawl."

"Of course - we wait forever, then come at the same time,"

"With city rents stratospheric the filing cabinet is all she could afford!"

The company vehicle

"This option in the pension is a little tricky. You can start collecting benefits when you're 58 years old, as long as you look 58 years old."

Like every morning, Mitch thought that happiness could be measured by the statistical probability that his train would arrive on time.

Cops on Public Transport.