Renovation Junkie Pillows

"Well I've done the floor! Only two days hard graft, but I thought you said the apartment had a sea view..."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'So that's his secret.'

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."