Remodelling Mugs

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

'...And this is a picture of when I got here...Here's one when I put on new rims...'

"Oh yes, you can't even recognize the old shoe since the remodel."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

That every day look.

'Mon Dieu! This year, your collection is really daring, mon cher Karl!'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Modular Offices

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

A Friend in Need.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

Top model

Artistic Licence.

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

Joanna Lumley.

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

'I'm sorry - but do you realize how much I was spending on shampoo and conditioner?'

The Coffee Tattoo

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'