Remakes T-Shirts

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Canadian film production

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'I can't believe they made a sequel.'

"Isn't this a sequel?"

Remote control pirate bully

Benedict Cumberbatch

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Horror movies

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Stand-up Romcom

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Housekeeping?!"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

Moby Dick