Reluctant Therapist Goer Prints

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Large Emoticon Collider

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

The Physiciatrist...

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

Turmoil change.

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Emotional Support Pest

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."