Reluctant Handyman Mugs

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

"My dishwasher isn't working. He got fired yesterday."

"I can catch up with all the chores my wife wants done over the Labor Day weekend."

Golfing Boss

Do it yourself books.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

Mental To-Do List

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"My art speaks for itself."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

Burning the midnight oil again?

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

"I didn't go to work today. I gathered firewood instead."

"May, I don't care how wet the toilet seat gets, I turned the water off last time."

We're actually looking for someone who just wants to get out of the house.

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."