Reluctant Fisherman Pillows

Man settled down to a book is irritated that he has a bite

"I am not asking for directions."

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

'How's the water, dear?'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

'There's nothing on the telly!'

"Declared Victory Garden"

'Haven't you forgotten something?'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'We'll probably hit a rock and sink. But, there's a lot of big fish in this lake, so it's worth the risk.'

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

Buddha Fishing

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'That's me in the fishing boat after 12 hours. The only thing snapping was me.'

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Trying to get kids into sports

Fishing

'Sailing, it's a sport that doesn't float my boat.'

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

'Bloody Climbing Experience Gifts. Bloody grand children. Why couldn't they have given me a pair of slippers!'

"The doctor said jogging would 'add ten years to your life...' He was right - I feel ten years older...!!"

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

Fishing Strictly Prohibited!

Larry promised himself he wouldn't give into the pier pressure...not again.

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

A Disgorger

'Why don't you lie down until the feeling goes away.'

'Oh, Tom was supposed to go hunting with you today? Just a minute, I'll see if he's home.'

If you're going to scream every time a kid yells cannonball, you're not coming with me anymore.